Entry 3

So far, so good today. Adam brought me lunch at work and we sat outside at the picnic tables to eat. Torchy's baja shrimp tacos always brighten my day. And then, I found an excuse to come home early and work from the house. It's amazing how much nicer work is when you're doing it from your own couch with your dog next to you. Of course, I could take my dog(s) to work if I wanted to...but they don't always play well with others.

I'm both looking forward to and dreading Joshua's baseball game tonight. It's not that I don't want to go to his game, although things like that seem to take more out of me than they used to...the bigger issue is that my dad is going to be there. This was something I hadn't prepared myself for -- getting to know my dad all over again, and in a whole new way. I always feel like I don't know what to say to him. And I worry about him, but I don't want to tell him that. I'd like to suggest things for him to do to get out of the house --- besides going to the store --- but I know it's still pretty early and he just needs to find his own routine and figure out what he wants to do. I feel responsible for him, but sometimes it takes more emotional energy than I have to go see him or call him. And then I feel guilty....and so on, and so on.... Not sure what the solution is to this one except to just keep plugging along. I know there are no right or wrong answers to all this, so I guess I should really cut myself a little slack.

It's about time to start picking up kids from school and enduring all the chaos that goes with that, but it's a beautiful, sunny day. I can feel the breeze coming through the window and smell freshly mowed grass. For right now I'm happy and content. It would be nice if I could hold on to that, but I guess the better lesson is to appreciate it for what it is and just enjoy the moment while it lasts.