September 19

I can't sleep.....

I've had trouble sleeping for a really long time, but I think it's gotten worse since mom died. I've been at a point in the last couple of months that I'm almost afraid to try to go to sleep because I know I won't be able to. So, I'd rather sit in the chair in the living room and watch TV till I go to sleep than go lie in the bed awake for hours. I'd say, probably 3 nights out of 7, I stay downstairs after everybody else goes to bed....watch TV till I pass out....wake up freezing cold and uncomfortable in the chair at 2am...then go upstairs and get in my bed to sleep until either Adam's alarm goes off at 4:45 or my alarm goes off at 5:45 (depending on what day of the week it is).

I'm an intelligent woman --- I can see that this isn't healthy --- and yet, I don't know what to do about it. Sleeping pills don't seem to really help -- or they help too much -- so, I've given up on that. I realize that I should exercise, but between working and shuttling kids around, and being exhausted all the time, I can't figure out where to fit this in my schedule.

So....I'm at an impasse......and I still can't sleep.....